


Denial

by ScilesMcCallinski



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Caitlin Snow is a good friend, Cisco Ramon Needs A Hug, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Harrison Wells Being an Asshole, Hartley Rathaway Being an Asshole, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Past Abuse, Protective Barry Allen, Protective Caitlin Snow, Snowbarrisco, but you get the point, mentioned dante ramon - Freeform, mentioned hartley rathaway - Freeform, more like was in the past, specifically I mean Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 04:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScilesMcCallinski/pseuds/ScilesMcCallinski
Summary: Right now, it shouldn't matter what's going on with him. The team comes first - Devoe comes first. It doesn't matter that his hands are shaking, or that it's an effort to keep his legs from trembling underneath him, or even that he can't stop thinking about what would have happened if Joe hadn't come in when he did.





	Denial

Cisco doesn't say a word. He doesn't spare Harry or Joe a second glance as he walks out of the room and down the corridor. He forces himself not to reach up for his throat and rub it in an effort to soothe the burning ache that's now left behind. Harry's hands had only just barely brushed his neck before Joe had walked in, but it was enough. 

He lets his legs carry him, not really paying attention to where he's going. Before he knows it, he's standing in one of the spare rooms that he uses as a sort of backup lab in case his is otherwise occupied, or he needs some space from everyone else. 

He walks over to the desk that's cluttered with various little things. Most of them are useless, just parts of something he had been thinking about building but never got around to or gave up on. His hands brush over a few of them before he picks up an old circuit board. 

Cisco knows that he has more important things he should be doing. Like helping the team with trying to figure out how to defeat Devoe. But he knows that right now he would be useless to him. His mind's all over the place and he wouldn't be able to concentrate on a word they say, never mind actually suggest something helpful. 

He can't help but huff out a quiet scoff at himself, shaking his head. "Idiot." 

Right now, it shouldn't matter what's going on with him. The team comes first - Devoe comes first. It doesn't matter that his hands are shaking, or that it's an effort to keep his legs from trembling underneath him, or even that he can't stop thinking about what would have happened if Joe hadn't come in when he did. He has to remind himself that Harry would never hurt him - not intentionally. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he sinks down onto the chair behind him. He'll go back out in a few minutes, once he can pretend that everything's okay. 

\-----------------------------------------

As soon as Joe walks into the cortex and fills Caitlin and Barry in on what just happened with Harry, expressing his concerns about him, Caitlin rushes out, saying nothing more than quiet, "oh no." Barry wastes no time in following after her, leaving Joe and Iris a little clueless and confused. 

Barry walks beside Caitlin, shooting her concerned glances as she stays quiet, peering into every room on the way down the corridor before moving onto the next. 

After she doesn't find what she's looking for in the sixth room they've looked in, Barry decides to finally just ask what he's thinking. 

"Caitlin, what's going on? What are you looking for?" 

"Cisco," she says like it should be obvious. But when she catches Barry's still extremely confused gaze, she sighs and explains, "I need to find him. If Harry really did attack Cisco like that, then he'll be trying to isolate himself. He'll convince himself that he's fine and that nothing happened and as soon as I try to talk to him about it, he'll act like he has no idea what I'm talking about." 

That only adds to Barry's confusion. "But why? I don't understand-" 

"He does this every time. I'm usually able to find him before he can just brush it off though, and if I don't find him in the next five minutes, he's never going to talk about it. The last time-" 

"Hold on, what do you mean 'every time'?" Barry questions, eyebrows drawing together in worry before shooting up as the realisation hits him. "This has happened before?" 

Caitlin peers into one of the rooms before quickly pulling her head back and continuing down the hall, feet moving even faster now. 

"Yes. Not with Harry though as far as I'm aware. The most he's done is shout and throw things - up until now of course." Barry opens his mouth and Caitlin quickly presses on, "Hartley. He and Cisco were... they had a strange relationship. But Hartley was constantly yelling at Cisco, getting mad at him for no reason, taking his anger out on him. It's only when it got really bad that Cisco came to me about it.

Her steps falter a little, her voice tightening. "It's not like he really had a choice. If he didn't, he would have had to go to a hospital." 

Barry immediately stops. "A hospital? Does that - how bad was it?" 

Caitlin swallows, and answers, "He had a mild concussion, a - uh - sprained jaw, and he had a dislocated shoulder and wrist. And three broken ribs, plus all of the bruising."

"Hartley did that to him?" Barry asks in disbelief. It's hard enough to believe that anyone would even think about hurting Cisco, but to do something like that?

"Yes. Cisco never said it was him but when he came into work, his hand was broken and his knuckles were completely bruised. Cisco was just so... scared. He made me promise not to tell anyone else but you're his best friend as well." 

Barry doesn't know what to say. And neither does Caitlin. She just begins walking again, still searching for Cisco, and Barry follows after he once again. 

\----------------------------------

Cisco sighs and pushes himself out of the chair. More than a few minutes have passed and he wasn't intending on staying this long. Now it's time to get back to work. 

Of course, even though he keeps telling himself that, he hesitates to leave the room. When he goes out there, he's going to have to see Harry. He's going to have to look at him, talk to him, work with him like nothing happened. Usually, he can handle that. 

When Harry yells about something or throws things across the room, Cisco gets a little bit startled but he quickly recovers from it. But this feels different, And he just can't seem to bring himself to move. 

"This is stupid," he mutters to himself, shaking his head slightly as his eyes drift down to the desk once more. Just as he's reaching out to examine one of the parts - anything that will keep him in here longer - he hears footsteps coming down the corridor. 

He doesn't move though. He doesn't try to hide or do anything. He simply picks up the piece he had been reaching for and twists it around in his hands. 

A few seconds later and he isn't even surprised by the voice calling out a relieved, "Cisco." 

He turns his head to look at her as he begins to say, "Hey, Cait-"

His eyes widen a little as he sucks in a quick breath. He wasn't expecting Barry to be with her. With Caitlin, he can pretend. He's done it so many times before and she gets it. She understands. But Barry's never seen him like this. How is he supposed to pretend everything's okay around the both of them? 

"Cisco, we - uh-" Barry glances at Caitlin, apparently unsure of the right words to say. 

And Cisco can just tell that he knows. It's the way his eyes are darting over him like he's checking for any sign of injuries. It's the way that he's wringing his hands nervously, unable to stand still. It's the concern in his eyes when he meets Cisco's gaze. 

Caitlin slowly walks towards him, a sad but gentle and reassuring smile on her lips. "Cisco, Joe told us what happened. With Harry. Are you-"

Her hand makes contact with his shoulder and he flinches. Visibly. 

Cisco closes his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat. He's basically having to force air into his lungs as his chest is tight. He silently begs for this to just be over, for his friends to drop this and never bring it up again. 

"Cisco-" Barry tries, the sound of his feet on the floor as he steps toward him and Caitlin. "Just talk to us, man. Please. We're here for you." 

He really wants to. There's a part of him that really does want to just talk about this, to stop jumping every time someone yells at him or gets angry. He wants to be able to talk to his best friends about this. But... he just can't.

So, he forces a smile and says, "There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine." 

Then he's walking out of the room, leaving Caitlin and Barry standing there, so obviously disappointed that he won't deal with this. But it's too hard right now. Besides, he doesn't want to drag them into this whole mess. He can handle it alone.

 ------------------------------------

The next time the subject comes up is a few days later. Cisco doesn't mean to flinch when Harry gets angry, or when he pulls his hand back like he's going to throw something or... worse. He doesn't mean to react the way he does. 

But when Harry doesn't seem to notice, Cisco just subtly steps back. His eyes dart around the room, checking to see if any of the others saw but none of them are looking at him, all of them focused on the plan. 

In his head, he's relieved. No one saw. No one can ask him what just happened, or what's wrong. 

He moves his hands to the desk beside him, pretending to lean against it when in reality, it's the only thing keeping him from collapsing. Since that incident - that's what Cisco's calling it, it doesn't sound as bad that way - it's been harder for him to handle this kind of thing. 

Just one wrong move and it sends his mind into a panic and he can barely concentrate for the rest of the day. He's constantly reminding himself that things are different now. What happened with Hartley... it's not going to happen again. Especially not with Harry. 

"Cisco?" 

Cisco looks up quickly at the sound of his name, his heart still beating far too fast for him to properly focus. But he tries to act normal as he catches Barry's worried frown.

"Yeah?" He looks around the room and it's then that he realises everyone's eyes are on him. "Did I... miss something?" 

That definitely receives him a few odd looks. Thankfully, Caitlin jumps in to explain. 

"We were just thinking that maybe using your powers at the same time as the tuning fork will help to multiply the effect and make it more powerful. That way, we might have a better chance at defeating Devoe with it." 

Cisco just nods without really thinking about it. "Yeah, yeah, it's possible." 

It must be obvious that he's distracted as Caitlin glances at Barry, exchanging a concerned look with him. Then they're both hurrying to find reasons for the rest of Team Flash to leave as fast possible. Iris and Joe don't question it, both having good enough reasons to leave anyway. 

But Harry doesn't seem to get it. Even after Iris and Joe are gone and Caitlin and Barry are sending him an extremely not subtle look, he still doesn't leave. He just stands there, looking around the room, hands on his hips. 

Then he sees their expressions and his eyes widen. "Oh, am I- I've gotta go. I'll uh-" He turns to Cisco, "Ramon, I need your assistance." He then begins walking away. 

Cisco's heart jumps, not wanting to follow him. He hates that he's afraid to even be alone with Harry but he can't help it. His eyes dart to Caitlin silently pleading with her to help, knowing she'll understand.

And she does as her eyes widen and she scrambles to find an excuse. "Actually, I need Cisco's help." Harry raises his eyebrows, stopping as he looks between the two of them. "It's a... medical thing." 

"A medical thing?" 

"Well, more like a..." Her mind is clearly coming to a blank. 

"I'm trying to train him," Barry jumps in, much to the relief of both Caitlin and Cisco. "And yesterday, things kinda got a bit out of hand and... he's not fully recovered yet so, Caitlin just needs to make sure everything's okay before we can start again." 

"Huh." Harry just nods, shrugging and seemingly accepting the excuse. He leaves the cortex without another word. 

Cisco hates to admit it but as soon as Harry's out of sight, his chest doesn't feel as tight as it did just a few seconds ago. He can breathe a little easier now as he hangs his head, letting his eyes fall closed. 

He feels light pressure on his shoulder as Barry rest his hand there, trying to be comforting. 

"What happened, Cisco?" Caitlin asks, her voice gentle and encouraging him to speak. 

He sighs and doesn't bother to look up, "I don't know. I didn't even realise what I was doing. I just - Harry moved his arm and I - I overreacted." 

"No," Barry immediately replies. "Cisco, you didn't overreact. You're scared of him. Aren't you?" 

He clearly already knows the answer as it comes out as more of a statement than a question, but he still waits for Cisco to respond, to confirm it. 

Cisco lifts his gaze, meeting Caitlin's for a second. One part of him wants to continue denying the entire thing, but another part of him is just so tired. He sighs, "I am. But it's not his fault." 

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he knows what's coming. He was prepared for it, straightening up a little to glance at the two of them. 

"It's not his fault because the thinking cap is affecting him. He's not - he's not thinking clearly. It's making him do things that he would never do, like get angrier than usual, or..."

He doesn't need to finish his sentence for Barry and Caitlin to know what he's thinking. 

"Cisco," Barry waits until he faces him to continue, "I promise you that Harry's not going to hurt you. No one is, not if I can help it." 

"Not if _we_ can help it," Caitlin chimes in, a soft smile on her lips.

Cisco tries to swallow, a lump rising in his throat. His eyes are stinging and it's taking a lot to stop any tears from falling. He just attempts to smile back at her. He knows they're just trying to help. It's obvious that they hate seeing him like this; afraid and jumping at every little thing Harry does. And as much as he wants to continue lying, pretending everything's okay, he also just wants to stop. 

With that thought, his smile falters and he just can't do it anymore. His act slips and he finally just breaks down. 

Barry's pulling him closer within a second, his arms wrapping around him and just holding onto him a little tighter than necessary. Caitlin joins them and Cisco just clings to the both of them, crying into Caitlin's shoulder. 

He doesn't know how long they stay like that, just wrapped around each other, no one saying a word. It could be a few seconds, it could be minutes. All he knows is that they're here. They want to help him, they want him to be okay. 

At some point, his crying just turns to quiet sniffles and slight hiccups every so often. His eyes and face are still wet with tears but they stop for the most part. All that really remains is a pounding in his head and a weird sense of... relief. 

He swallows and somehow manages to choke out a slightly hoarse, "Thank you." 

"That's what friends are for," Caitlin says softly.

"We're always gonna be here for you, Cisco," Barry adds. 

And Cisco believes that. He truly does. He lifts his head to look at them, so unbelievably grateful that out of all the people in the world - and the multiverse - these two are the ones who are his best friends. 

They finally pull apart but stay close. Cisco sighs a little and it sort of turns into a weird chuckle as he rubs his eyes. 

"We're supposed to be figuring out how to get Devoe, the smartest but most annoying villain we've ever had, close enough for us to be able to hit him with a blast from a weirdly modified tuning fork. And yet-" he throws a hand out, "here we are, wasting precious time." 

Barry shakes his head, "No, we're not. Helping you - being here for you - that isn't a waste of time." 

"Barry's right," Caitlin agrees. "Devoe's been planning this for years and is always going to be a million steps ahead of us. He can wait." 

"But-" Cisco tries to begin arguing that taking down Devoe is the important thing right now. 

"No buts," Barry chuckles, hand back on Cisco's shoulder and squeezing lightly. "You're our main priority right now, okay? Besides," he shrugs, "We've basically got the entire plan worked out. We just need to get Devoe here and then everything's done." 

He does make a good point. Which is the only reason that Cisco caves and accepts it, the corners of his mouth quirking up into a small smile. 

"Alright, alright, fine," he says, rolling his eyes. "But are we - done here? 'Cause I have plans with Dante and I am already five minutes late." 

"Oh my god, Cisco," Caitlin laughs and gestures at the door. "You should have said something! Go, go, go!" 

Cisco laughs as well, putting his hands up as he spins around, walking backwards. "Alright, jeez! I'm going." 

He leaves the cortex, a grin still on his face. It's probably the happiest and like his old-self that Barry and Caitlin have seen him in weeks - maybe months. 

It isn't until he's out of sight that Barry looks at Caitlin, pretending to be casual as he asks, "So, am I allowed to go find Hartley and punch him in the face now?" 

Caitlin grins but she shakes her head and sends him a look. "No, you can't. But if he decides to turn against us again and stirs up any trouble, you're certainly welcome to put him in one of the meta holding cells for a few days. Besides, if anyone's going to be punching Hartley, it would most likely be Dante." 

"Oh yeah, you're probably right." He pauses, his eyebrows furrowing. "Hey, does Dante know about...?" 

"About what happened between them?" Caitlin asks and Barry nods. "Yeah, he does. I convinced Cisco to at least talk to someone else about it, so he did. Obviously Dante was furious. He wanted to go after Hartley and do who knows what. But Cisco managed to talk him out of it." 

Barry nods slightly as his eyes drift to the floor. "Yeah, that was probably for the best." Then he sighs and looks back up at Caitlin. "You realise that we can't just let this go though, right?" 

Her eyebrows furrow and he adds, "This thing with Harry. Caitlin, Cisco is terrified of him. And just because he has us to talk to about it, doesn't mean he's going to be any less afraid of him, or that he's going to be okay being around him."

Caitlin's expression turns to one of understanding and she nods. "I know. But what are we supposed to do? Keep them in separate rooms? Send Harry back to his earth? No matter how afraid of him Cisco is, he would never be okay with that." 

Barry sighs, tugging a hand through his hair as he leans his elbows on the top of the desk. "No, he wouldn't. But we're going to need to do something. This isn't right." 

"I know that," Caitlin tells him. "And we will. We'll figure out what to do about this with Cisco. We just need to... be there for him, make sure he knows that he has us on his side, no matter what he decides to do." 

"You make it sound like he's going to go live on Gypsy's earth or something." 

Caitlin doesn't say anything and Barry looks at her with wide eyes. "Caitlin, he's not just going to leave. I know that this is really bad and it must be hard for him, but he wouldn't just... he wouldn't leave." 

"I know he wouldn't," Caitlin says gently. "I'm just saying. If he did decide to do something like that, even just to get some space from it all, we would understand. And we would support his decision." 

She sends him yet another look; one that says Barry knows she's right. He does and she is. Of course they're going to support him, even if did decide to leave their earth for a little while. And they are going to do everything they can to help him through this. Because Cisco might pretend he's okay, he might laugh and joke with Harry like everything's fine, but he's not. 

It's not okay. Maybe eventually it will be. Maybe at some point, Cisco won't have to force himself not to act like he doesn't jump when Harry gets angry. Or maybe Harry will even learn to control himself, to not start throwing things all over the place because something went wrong. Maybe with time, everything will be okay. 

But right now, they need to focus on actually getting there. On fixing this, on making sure that Harry knows exactly what he's doing to Cisco - even if he doesn't mean it. And focusing on making sure that Cisco knows he's not alone.

 


End file.
